Higher Education Failed Me, I'm Not a Blathering Liberal

The other day I received a comment from one of my adoring readers in response to an old article I wrote reviewing a movie. In the article, I reviewed Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs, concluding that the movie had no redeeming value because it promoted false family relationships. In response to my review, the poster commented anonymously something along the lines of: "You are ignorant Euripedes [sic]!!" (Unfortunately, I can no longer find the exact quote as it was accidentally erased before posting online.)

I've thought about those thoughtful words and what they could mean. Did the anonymous poster mean that I lacked knowledge or awareness in general? Did the anonymous poster mean that I am uneducated or unsophisticated? Or could the anonymous poster have meant that I was ignorant since I didn't agree with his or her personal views about the Ice Age movie?

Claiming ignorance as to the poster's motives, I came to the conclusion that he or she most likely decries my ignorance on the topic of family values and social morality. In a nutshell, I presume the comment, written with so much thought and consideration, was an ad hominem attack against me because I don't believe in the ideology of far left liberalism, especially with regard to understanding the true nature of society and social relationships.

I blame the university system for my ignorance. The university failed to teach me anything about such things as Marxist equal outcomes or the blind acceptance of identity political ideals. In fact, when I think about it, I'm pissed off at the educational system which has failed me so badly.

I've decided to file a law suit to get back the extraordinary amount of money I spent attending UCLA since, as Anonymous pointed out, I left that institution after seven years with PhD in ignorance. In my law suit, I will make the following claims:

1) UCLA failed to indoctrinate me in any sort of ideology related to identity politics. I consider this bigotry of the highest form. Obviously the school discriminated against my race and gender and disallowed me a sufficient education so I could become an ideologue such as the great Keith Olbermann. Because of this lack in my education, I have no learned ability to call anyone a racist, bigot, Islamophobe, homophobe, or sexist.UCLA simply neglected to teach me to fling such names against anyone who disagreed with my political views.

2) UCLA failed to give me a solid background and adoration for Marxist ideals in economics. I suffered through various classes in economics and history without having found out the base truth of all economics: that government intervention and takeover are the solution to all economic, as well as the solution to all social ills. Sure, I learned that there was some guy named Karl Marx and that nearly every professor I learned from was his staunch supporter. These so-called "professors," however, never invited me into the Benevolent Order of Marxists. I feel betrayed and left out.

3) UCLA failed to teach me the difference between good special interests versus evil special interests. I am at a complete loss to find any difference between, say, the Teacher's Union donating millions of dollars to elect Barack Obama, and Wall Street moguls donating millions of dollars to elect Barack Obama. Maybe I'm missing something in my school-sponsored ignorance since I consider poltical corruption a bad thing, even when Democrats do it.

4) UCLA failed to inculcate in me the blissful state that all cultures and all viewpoints are valid, except for those liberals disagree with. As a corollary, for some reason, I am completely unable to accept moral relativism. I'm at a loss how I could leave the university without becoming a moral relativist or born again atheist. You'd think with all of the books that the university made me read about the evils of religion that some of those fine ideas would have rubbed off, but once again, I'm at a loss to explain my intransigency. Maybe if someone would have sat me down and explained the benefits of secularism, I might have converted. Selfishly, no one cared enough about my education to teach me the truth, that there is no truth.

5) UCLA never taught me how to abuse the political system in order to subvert republicanism and establish the liberal ideal. You'd think that I would have learned, after reading Saul Alinsky's marvel of liberal politics, Rules for Radicals, that I would have learned at least the basics of political subversion. However, without the guidance of a caring professor, Alinsky's point and application was lost on me as I floundered through the political mire of the democratic ideal. I came out the other end of my education completely ignorant of the ideal of political change by any means necessary, as long as the liberal standard is upheld.

6) As a corollary, UCLA never taught me the intricacies of creating rights out of thin air, despite a plethora of classes in politics directed at describing the pitfalls and problems of the US system. It wasn't until after UCLA that I ever found out how cleverly the Supreme Court had discovered a previously unknown woman's right to choose, buried in the 14th Amendment to the Constitution. Had someone at UCLA carefully explained the role and true responsibilities of the Court to legislate liberal morality, I might not be so confused in the present day.

7) UCLA neglected to teach me how to be sensitive or caring of those who ride high on the liberal bandwagon as bastions of identity politics. Because of UCLA's thoughtlessness, I am ignorant of others' feelings as they in turn rage against me for not accepting their lifestyle du jour. (Goodness knows I can't even keep up with the latest politically correct term - is it LGBT or GLBT? Do we still put the ladies first when describing such lifestyles, or is that passé? And just how many more letters can you add to LGBTTQIA? For more on this question, check out my attempt to get a handle on it in an interview I conducted last year.) UCLA's to blame for my insensitivity, since campus school groups couldn't agree on who should be included and who shouldn't when describing rights based on lifestyles.

8) Lastly, UCLA completely failed to cure my ignorance and turn me into a modern liberal. (I thought that's what a modern liberal education was supposed to do.) The curriculum dominated by liberals for two generations, the total disregard for other values besides those which coincided with liberalism, the reverence for such schools as UC Berkeley, a completely indoctrinated faculty, all these failed miserably into turning me into a liberal.

I suppose in this sense, as Anonymous so dutifully pointed out, I am ignorant. Yet, I learned one thing from modern liberalism. My ignorance is not my fault. The proper blame for my lack of leftist thinking rests squarely on the shoulders of a failed university system.

I want my money back.