Artist's representation of dark energy (purple lines) showing its domination of the effects of gravitation (green lines) and the interaction between galaxies.
A five-year survey of 200,000 galaxies confirms that dark energy is driving apart our universe at accelerating speeds. (Science Daily)
In related news, scientists have now discovered the underlying source of dark energy: the Cannes Film Festival. Case in point is Antonio Banderas' latest movie, entitled The Skin I Live In.
Director Pedro Almodovar (C) poses with cast members Elena Anaya (L) and Antonio Banderas (R).
According to witnesses, the film was so out of touch with common decency, morality, and even French standards, the movie literally horrified viewers who then fled the movie theater. (FOX News)
"We can now be reasonably certain," said an astrophysicist who wished to remain anonymous, "that we can trace the source of dark energy directly to such primal events as The Cannes Film Festival, as well as to a host of other, out-of-touch and amoral filmmakers across the globe."
The astrophysicist continued: "Such events as the Banderas film help contribute to driving the universe apart, increasing the dark energy, while destroying the basic social and cultural mores which connect intelligent life together. In essence....this movie is helping to cause the brain death of the universe."
Moviegoers, those who weren't projectile vomiting on the sidewalk outside of the theater, had a decidedly different point of view about the nature of the movie.
"I see nothing wrong with helping expand the universe," one movie goer stated after watching the entire film. "What's wrong with the suicide, the gender reassignment, the face transplant, the torture, the implied incest, the rape and the nudity. I mean, that's life, isn't it?"
And so, the coveted Stinky goes to the film The Skin I Live In.
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