One Liner News: One Line Responses to News You Just Can't Make Up 3/2/10

Barack Obama's doctor told him in a recent check up to quit smoking and to moderate his drinking. Obama reportedly called his doctor a fascist dictator trying to impose a nanny state, then went outside for a smoke.

One Liner News
Snark and commentary on recent news, delivered to fit your busy schedules.

Secessionitis by Pat Buchanan
Pat Buchanan had a great quote in one of his recent articles published by Townhall. This compares the Tea Party movement with the political divisions within the US that led to secession and the Civil War:

Unlike the issues of yesteryear that tore the Union asunder, Tea Party issues are not sectional but national. Yet, they are rooted in a similar set of beliefs -- that the federal government no longer serves their interests, but the interests of economic and political forces that sustain the party in power.

What's Another Few Trillion?
From ABC News:

Behind closed doors and with no cameras present, President Obama signed into law Friday afternoon the bill raising the public debt limit from $12.394 trillion to $14.294 trillion.

Does anyone remember the flak when Bush tried to raise the debt limit? Here's a reminder from the LA Times:

"It's embarrassing," [Brookings Institute economist Henry] Aaron said. "It underscores the total budgetary debacle that has occurred under President Bush's watch."

Budgetary debacle indeed.

A Real Snoozer
The London Times Online had this to say about President Obama's health care summit:

Warning: watching American politicians argue about healthcare can be seriously damaging to your health. Symptoms may include migraines, extreme fatigue and sudden violent urges. In the event of exposure to competing statistics — regarding "donut holes", "HMO deductibles", "reconciliation devices" or suchlike — seek immediate medical help. 

Truth from the press and a description that just doesn't get old.

Pelosi's Pipe Dream
From Real Clear Politics:

Speaker Nancy Pelosi at the health summit: "It's about jobs. In it's life, it [the health bill] will create 4 million jobs -- 400,000 jobs almost immediately."

These aren't 400,000 new doctors, nurses, health techs, or office administrative staff. These are 400,000 more government bureaucrats. Should we just slit our wrists now instead of riding out the long, slow, painful death of the Republic?

A Killer's Intent
Last week Americans were saddened to learn of the death of Dawn Brancheau, trainer at Sea World, who was killed by Tilikum, a 12,000-pound Orca whale.

Headline from the NY Times: Intentions of Whale in Killing Are Debated

Orlando homocide investigators are stumped over the motivations of a Killer Whale. Why would such a creature as a 12,000 pound Killer Whale kill some poor, defenseless woman who was a friend to all whales? We may never know what that Killer Whale's intentions were. Let me know if any of you have any clues as to why a Killer Whale would do such a thing.

Threats and More Threats
Headline from CNN: CNN Poll: Majority Says Government a Threat to Citizens' Rights

And those Americans who don't think the government is a threat to rights are receiving government handouts and entitlements.

More Pelosi
Headline from Breitbart: Pelosi: US Health Overhaul Will Happen

And continued: "...despite what you ignoramuses think you want. Shut up already and let the government do its job to screw the American public." Afterwards, Pelosi reportedly went outside to have a smoke with President Obama.

Even More Pelosi
The Hill reports this tidbit:

"[Republicans] had plenty of opportunity to make their voices heard," she said on CNN's "State of the Union" Sunday morning. "Bipartisanship is a two-way street. A bill can be bipartisan without bipartisan votes. Republicans have left their imprint."

And the power-monger Democrats in Congress have left their imprint as well. They'll shove the bill through with or without the American people on board. That's some giganormous imprint.

Even More Pelosi
Headline from Politico: Nancy Pelosi's Brutal Reality Check

Apparently, some political analysts now recognize that Nancy Pelosi's days may be numbered because of her strong arm tactics that include trampling on American Citizens. Here's what her political allies say about her:

Pelosi, who can be as loyal as they come if you’re her friend, can also be ruthless as a political enemy — especially if someone threatens her party’s majority.

Pelosi "will put a bullet in the head of anyone she needs to," said a Democratic insider. "Rangel, any incumbent that looks like he’s going to lose. She’ll do anything it takes to keep her majority, anything." (Politico)

I thought Nancy Polosi advocated gun control?

Condom Crisis
From Vancouver Now:

Health officials in Vancouver have already provided 100,000 free condoms to the roughly 7,000 ahtletes and officials at the Games. That's about 14 condoms per person. But as of Wednesday, those supplies started running dangerously low.

So naturally, the Canadian Foundation for AIDS research decided to step and make sure there were no hitches in Olympic action.

It's great to see the Canadian health care system working so well to protect those sexual athletes. Which only brings up the obvious:

These athletes used up 100,000 condoms? When did they have any time to actually participate in sports?