One Liner News: One Line Responses to News You Just Can't Make Up

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One Liner News
A brand new feature to give you a quick response to news you just can't make up. Let me know what you think.

Global Warming

The academic at the centre of the ‘Climategate’ affair, whose raw data is crucial to the theory of climate change, has admitted that he has trouble ‘keeping track’ of the information.

Colleagues say that the reason Professor Phil Jones has refused Freedom of Information requests is that he may have actually lost the relevant papers....

And he said that for the past 15 years there has been no ‘statistically significant’ warming. (Daily Mail)

Do you mean to tell me that some people will manipulate the data just to create a crisis in order to a) receive more funding; b) make themselves rich selling "green" industry; c) pass extensive taxes to limit energy production? Say it isn't so Rahm Emanuel and Al Gore!

Romney Threatened on Plane

Republican politician Mitt Romney was physically threatened by a violent passenger on an Air Canada flight leaving Vancouver this morning....

The man sitting in front of Mr. Romney’s wife dropped his seat back and when Mr. Romney asked him to move it upright for takeoff, the man became “physically violent.” Another report said that the man tried to strike Mr. Romney. (The Globe)

I'm betting this man was a liberal Democrat just exercising his rights to equality and free speech.

Government Waste
Headline from AP news story: Audit Finds US Census Preparations Wasted Millions. (Yahoo Finance)


Tell me again why we want more government taxes and involvement in health care?

Ahmadinejad Versus Clinton
Headline from Reuters news story: Ahmadinejad Not Taking Clinton Comments "Seriously". (Reuters)

That's all right Mahmoud, the American people don't take her comments seriously either.

Obama to Go Nuclear

The White House is working hard to advance climate change legislation in Congress and hopes an announcement to jumpstart the nuclear power industry will appeal to Republican skeptics, a top adviser to President Barack Obama said. (Reuters)

Wait a minute! I thought nuclear power derangement syndrome was so deeply entrenched in leftist thinking that even suggesting we build more nuclear power plants was akin to heresy. I guess nuclear heresy trumps global warming idiocy.

Secret of Aging
Headline from Financial Times news story: Scientists Discover the Secret of Aging. (Financial Times)

After thousands of hours of research and millions of dollars spent, scientists discover the secret of aging: as time passes, we get older.

Right to Die
Headline from Montreal Gazette: Doctors Back 'Right to Die'. (Gazette)

Just another service brought to you from the good folks supporting nationalized medicine.